A Letter From My Little Girl

Sometimes you walk away from a run thinking, “Nailed it.” Yeah, today wasn’t one of those.  In fact, I haven’t had one of those in longer than I really care to talk about.

Sometimes we succeed at our goals, sometimes we fail.  Sometimes we feel like the overwhelming effort we are putting in is all for naught.  But sometimes we see a glimmer of hope that all that hard work had a purpose.

There are days we suffer to get through, speed workouts where we feel like we are spinning our wheels, mile upon mile where we feel like we are running through sludge.  Why do we even bother?  But then race day comes when there is nothing quite like the feeling of crossing the finish line and basking in the glory of knowing that you nailed it.  All because we were willing to keep going through the hard part.

Today, I had one of those days.  I didn’t nail a workout.  Or a race.  I didn’t even run at all.  But the bling I received today came in the form of a letter from my daughter.

This morning I was struggling to remind myself that no matter what anyone else thinks about me, I am a good parent.  I love my kids.  And I may not remember everything all the time, but I take care of them the best I can and I know they don’t ever question how much I love them.  I am human.  I know I will fail them sometimes.  In those moments, I need for the people in my life to not try to fix me, not expect perfection, but occasionally stand back and let me fail.  And then love me anyway.

Tonight, Ally reassured me of just that.

My kids have been with their dad for the past 11 days for Spring Break.  Man that was a long time.  Especially after coming off an extended vacation with him in February too.  I picked them up from school today and I was greeted with big smiles, even bigger hugs and lots of I love you’s.   In the car, I mentioned to Ally that I had a card for her.  And she said she had something for me too.

When we got home I gave her the card.  And I gave one to the boys as well.  I got dinner started and the kids were working on homework.  At one point I think I had half the neighborhood in my house.  And then I was standing in the laundry room when Ally came in and said, “Here Mom”.  She handed me a piece of paper before she turned an walked out.  I unfolded a type written note and began to read.  I stood there, leaning against the washing machine reading a letter from my 11 year old.  Seriously, she’s only 11.  How did she get so smart?! The tears filled my eyes, but by the time I read the last line they flowed freely down my face.

I couldn’t ask for anything more in life than what Ally said to me in that letter.  In reading what she wrote from her heart, I know I must be doing something right.  I know that the struggles are worth it.  I know the pain has a purpose.

Here is Ally’s letter…

Dear Mom,

I missed you this past week.  I hope you had fun in Chicago.  I hope you took lots of pictures.  Thank you for all you do for me and supporting.  Thank you for your wonderful meals and cleaning and providing for us.  You’re the best mom in the whole entire world.  Thank you for working for us.  You are so funny!  I love when we bond and laugh and watch movies while eating ice cream.  Those are some of my favorite moments!  I’m excited for the potatoes tonight.  It’s been forever since you have made them!  I can’t wait to go to Chicago and Michigan in a few months.  I love you so much.  I had a great time in Guatemala but I still missed you.  I’m super excited for school to be out in May!  No more homework!  Yippee!  I’m so proud to be called your daughter.  And every day I get with you is special.  I know you’re always with me in my heart even if I’m not with you.  You may only get fifty percent of the time but that time we do get is special and means a lot.  Over the years we keep building a stronger relationship.  And it keeps getting stronger.  Even though you got divorced I found the good that came out of it that I know you better and have a better relationship.  Love, Ally

Hands down that letter is the best reward I have ever received.  More valuable than any runner’s high, any finish line and any medal from any race ever.  Today, I received confirmation that there was purpose in the pain.  And that makes me feel like I nailed it.

From my baby girl...

From my baby girl…

One thought on “A Letter From My Little Girl

  1. Cathy Waddell

    Lindsey,
    Out of the mouth of babes. Treasure all of the moments. Put that letter in a shadow box and present it to her at her wedding. Let her know that she will be the best mom ever.
    Love u guys,
    Cathy

    Reply

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