This morning I got up way earlier than I wanted to in order to meet a friend for a run.  At 6am when my phone started beeping, buzzing and flashing the words “Get up and run your ass off!” I wanted to throw it out the window.  By the way, yes, that’s really what I named my alarm. Amy Marxkors is someone I can randomly run into 3 times in a week, but when we try to plan something, forget it.  It inevitably takes a month for us to actually work out our schedules.  Since we finally managed to arrange something, and since she’s pretty stinking cool, I managed to peel myself from the comfort of my nice warm bed.

This girl is amazing.  She can run a marathon in just over 3 hours. That’s more than a full minute per mile faster than I can.  I’m hoping some of her speed rubs off on me.  Here’s my confession-If I wasn’t myself, and I could pick one person in the world that I would choose to be, it would be Marxkors.  Lindsey quirk #2- I frequently refer to my girlfriends by their last names.  It started back when I was a rower at Michigan State.  Regardless of the fact that most of my teammates are married now, they will always be known to me as Worden, Bingham, Swartz, Cotter, Korth, Jewett and Shafer.  But I digress.  Marxkors is a complete goofball, a little bit of a diva and a total badass, all at the same time.  She is a hockey player, turned elite runner, and a world famous author to boot.  And she will likely be mortified that I’ve said all of this about her.  Hypothetically speaking, if I was to have a secret girl crush…yeah, you guessed it…Marxkors.  Hypothetically, of course.

Our running topics of conversation today ran the gamut (pun totally intended) of my weird twitching eye/muscle spasm thing that’s been ongoing for several days, to her pus oozing knee injury inflicted by black ice on New Year’s Day, to why you can’t base your idea of someone’s attractiveness  off of Facebook pictures because let’s be real-photos do sometimes lie. Ultimately, though, the most meaningful topic of the day was healing.  Marxkors had a really cool analogy about recovering from a hurting heart that, not surprisingly, related to running.  We’re runners.  Somehow we find a way to bring everything back to running.  But this was seriously really cool, and I have continued to mull it over in my mind all day.  We were talking about relationships, and healing, and where I’m at with all of that after a failed marriage.  And she said something to the effect of a broken relationship being a wound that takes a toll on your body, your heart.  In the same way, a marathon takes a major toll. A marathon requires recovery time as well. Here’s this thing that you have poured your heart and soul and all of your energy into. You put in a lot of time to train for it. Whether it went well or not, you made an attempt.  When it’s over, you can’t just jump in and start training for another one the very next day. You have to give yourself some time.  And just because you’re in the recovery period, doesn’t mean you’re not doing anything.  Recovery is part of the process to get ready for the next event. You rest. You let your muscles repair themselves. You heal.  You slowly get back to running, you just don’t run at the same level of intensity right out of the gate.   Eventually you start training again, but you start with 4 miles, not 20. It’s a long slow process, but eventually, you’re ready to try it again.

I have cried at the finish line of every marathon I’ve run.  Sometimes that just means getting a little choked up, other times it’s an all out bawl fest, complete with the ugly cry. I might cry because it went better than expected, or because I’m just glad that it’s over with, or there might be some specific, symbolic gesture involved with a particular race.  But after completing something of that magnitude that I have thrown my whole self into, I am physically and emotionally spent, and I need to release it.  And then, I need to heal and learn what I can from it.

About a year ago, Marxkors helped me with an essay that I wrote for a submission to a contest, so I feel it’s only appropriate to include the last line from that piece.  It reads… Just like everything else in life, it’s really not about the destination; it’s about how you push through all the obstacles you face and what you learn along the way.

It’s true.  How we face the obstacles we face is what makes us who we are. Whether the obstacle is running a marathon on a sprained ankle, attacking a fear of being vulnerable with the mentality of “wearing your heart on your sleeve”, conquering a fear of swimming to compete in a Half-Ironman, or starting to live life differently at 37 years old; the question is…what am I going to do with it?  Am I going to let my fears and my failures define me, destroy me or strengthen me?  It’s a choice that only I can make for myself.  My experiences make me who I am, I can’t deny that.  However, Friedrich Nietzsche knew what he was talking about when he said, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” So, I choose strength.  But I’m so grateful for all the people who have been there, standing on the sidelines, cheering me on.

Marxkors, RRG, Nicole and Seth at the Gumbo Flats 5K. All 4 of us took home an age group award…What Up?!