Since I haven\u2019t had a chance to say this until now, Happy 2016! A year ago I said that I wanted 2015 to be big, and I\u2019m pretty sure I lived up to that. It was certainly a year of surprises.\u00a0 Surprises like a week in the hospital, a trip to Nicaragua, a new step family for my kids, jumping out of a plane, a diploma and a budding nursing career.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t quite figured out what 2016 is the year of yet, but I\u2019ve been thinking a lot about expectations lately.\u00a0 After a week in LA to finish out the year, a week that proved to be the week of failed expectations (or so I thought), how could I not?\u00a0 Expectations of our lives, expectations of others, others expectations of us.\u00a0\u00a0 If we aren\u2019t careful, expectations can be really damaging, especially to ourselves and our relationships with others.<\/p>\n
Am I the only one who does this? With a vacation on the horizon, I plan out everything we are going to do and what it\u2019s going to look like and how perfect it\u2019s going to be.\u00a0 I do not however, work the stomach flu into the equation.\u00a0 I had plans of going on lots of hikes, having a ball at Legoland with the kids and taking them all around Hollywood to see the sights.\u00a0 In reality, a very few of us went on 1 single hike, Legoland was pretty much lame and only Ethan made it to Hollywood with me.\u00a0 Failed, right?\u00a0 Well, not exactly.\u00a0 Ok, so the things I had set my sights on didn\u2019t go just as I thought they would but how often does anything turn out how we think it will?<\/p>\n
The other day I set off for my first run of 2016. My expectations were looooooooow.\u00a0 Seriously, I have been seriously struggling to get back on track physically since I tried to shut my kidneys down in May.\u00a0 It continues to amaze me, as it becomes clearer, just how close I was to not being here today.\u00a0 At my annual doctor visit the other day, Dr. Meddows was looking at my electronic chart and she said, \u201cLINDSEY!\u00a0 Oh my gosh, this was really bad!\u201d\u00a0 She used words that no one had said to me in the hospital, I\u2019m sure in an effort to keep me calm.\u00a0 Or maybe they told me and I was so delirious I just have no recollection.\u00a0\u00a0 At any rate, I am in the very early stages of a comeback now, so maybe 2016 should be the year of the Comeback.\u00a0 But that insinuates that I didn\u2019t learn anything from last year.\u00a0 I need to remember that sometimes the unexpected happens, and that I need to not expect more from my body than it\u2019s capable of.\u00a0 I\u2019d like to think that I\u2019m back on the horse, but I\u2019m going forth with a much better awareness of listening to my body.\u00a0 And not being dumb.<\/p>\n
That being said, as I set out for my run the other day, I kept in mind that while I used to be able to run sub 8 minute miles, now the goal is to return home without feeling like I\u2019m going to keel over. So I set out with a general distance in mind, but considerably slower than what used to be my normal.\u00a0 So what if I\u2019m a couple minutes slower now, the point is to enjoy it.\u00a0 And I did.\u00a0 It was a beautiful 55 degree day, not like today\u2019s running temp of -14 that I faced this morning.\u00a0 Ouch.\u00a0 Anyway, I took my water and set out in search of potentially my longest run since the Berryman Marathon nearly did me in.<\/p>\n
While I ran, I did a lot of reflecting on our week in LA. I\u2019ll be honest, what was supposed to be a fantastic week of vacation with family, turned out to be a really tough week.\u00a0 Before picking the kids up from their dad\u2019s house to head to the airport on Christmas day, I was in the middle of getting ready to go when I grabbed my phone and read a text from my friend Stephanie.\u00a0 I think I gasped slightly before Brian and I looked at each other, I simply said, \u201cInga\u2026\u201d and he knew.\u00a0 Our friend that we had known since grade school, who has been battling Cancer for 8 long years, had finally been called home to celebrate Christmas with Jesus this year.<\/p>\n
While we were in LA, we missed a lot of what was happening back here in Missouri. Watching videos of the flooding Meremac River was surreal.\u00a0 Places that I pass on a daily basis and places that I love, all became completely submerged.\u00a0 The Al Foster trail, where Brian and I ran on Christmas Eve was probably among the first to be under water.\u00a0 My beloved Castlewood was totally unrecognizable in the pictures I saw.\u00a0 I was very fortunate that my house is in a secure location and when Brian checked on it, he reported that all was well.\u00a0 But hearing the pleas for prayer over friends\u2019 businesses and the homes of their loved ones made my heart hurt for them.<\/p>\n
Several of our vacation plans got side-lined or rearranged as the week went on and Silas was the first to go down with a round of the stomach flu. But he was only down and out for a day before he bounced back and we thought we were good to go.\u00a0 I was able to take Ethan and Ally, along with their cousin Brooke, off for a hike at Rocky Peak that day while Silas recovered.\u00a0 It was 6 years to the day since the last time we had been there.\u00a0 It was weird to think about how much life has changed for all of us since then.\u00a0 The next day when Silas woke up feeling like himself, and no one else was showing any signs, we thought we were back on track.\u00a0 We headed off to Legoland, which turned out to be something that we never have to do again.\u00a0 But my mom and I had taken the 4 big kids and enjoyed spending the day with them.\u00a0 Unfortunately, on the drive back from Carlsbad to my brother\u2019s, Ally was the next to go down.\u00a0 And she went down hard.\u00a0 The poor girl was a mess and being in the car only made it worse.\u00a0 She always somehow ends up sicker than the others and has been to the hospital multiple times for dehydration, so it gets scary really quick.\u00a0 By New Years Eve, Silas, Ally and mom had all fallen victim.\u00a0 While they were pulling through it, they were just out of energy.<\/p>\n
Adam and I took the last 2 standing off to Hollywood for a few hours of fun before heading home to witness the Spartans massive destruction that was the Cotton Bowl. I\u2019d like to say it was the game that did me in, but the reality was, I was the next to fall.\u00a0 At 10pm on New Years Eve.\u00a0 12 hours before we had to begin our journey back to St. Louis.\u00a0 And as much as I hoped that Ethan would remain the strong one, he followed shortly after me.\u00a0 I somehow, miraculously, woke up feeling almost completely 100%normal.\u00a0 It was a tough journey home for my little dude, but he was a trooper.<\/p>\n
I promise you our trip wasn\u2019t entirely tears and illness. We actually had some really great moments mixed in there too.\u00a0 And the best part is they were things that were totally unexpected.\u00a0 One night, before everyone got sick, my brother decided to take the kids over to the church playground just to get them out of the house for a bit.\u00a0 I needed some air too, so I went along.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t be happier about that decision as it turned into my favorite memory of the week.\u00a0 We laid the ground rules for hide and seek, and then we played by the light of the almost full moon.\u00a0 AJ found that he could just lie down on the ground in his black sweats and he was pretty much invisible against the dark green spongy ground.\u00a0 Ally sat curled up in a ball on a tree stump and went unnoticed for several minutes.\u00a0 We crouched into tiny spaces until we had leg cramps, Brooke found Ethan when she tripped on a \u201crock\u201d which turned out to be Ethan, and I actually climbed a tree for the winning spot.\u00a0 And we laughed hysterically.\u00a0 It was pretty chilly out, but we agreed unanimously that the only parts of us that were cold were our ungloved hands.\u00a0 It could be said that running around is what kept us warm, but I\u2019m pretty sure there was more to it than that.<\/p>\n
As I ran the other day, I found myself smiling at that memory. I also found myself thinking a lot about Inga.\u00a0 I was really sad that I missed her memorial service while I was gone.\u00a0 But I have some pretty special memories of that girl.\u00a0 I love that whenever I would see her, even if she already knew my stories from reading them here, she would always say, \u201cTell me a story!\u00a0 Tell me the story about\u2026\u201d\u00a0 So, if you will indulge me, now I want to tell you a story about my friend Inga. \u00a0Maybe not a story exactly, but I want to tell you about the woman she was.\u00a0 Inga was an absolutely amazing person.\u00a0 She was stunning.\u00a0 She was valedictorian of our high school class.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t actually graduate with that class because I had moved back to Michigan, but I still feel very much a part of it. More than anything, Inga was one of the sweetest, kindest souls you could ever meet.\u00a0 In 8 long years of battling a totally unfair disease, Inga never once waivered in her faith.\u00a0 She rarely complained about anything, she just simply continued to live out everything she believed and have hope.\u00a0 So much hope.\u00a0 Christmas was her favorite time of year, so as hard as it had to be for her family to say goodbye to her on Christmas, it almost seems appropriate somehow that she got to spend Christmas celebrating in Heaven.\u00a0 Especially since she was born on Easter Sunday.\u00a0 And could there be any other 2 days of the year that signify \u2018Hope\u2019 more than Christmas and Easter?\u00a0 I didn\u2019t get to see Inga much over the past year, but I was able to be present on her 40th<\/sup> birthday when my friend Teri presented her with her Powered by Hope medal.<\/p>\n By definition hope means a feeling or expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen, or a feeling of trust. There\u2019s that word again, expectation.\u00a0 But in this case, it sounds so positive.\u00a0 I don\u2019t typically \u2018expect\u2019 that bad things will happen, like massive flooding and Cancer and the likes, even though I know these things happen in our world.\u00a0 Why is that?\u00a0 Well, I guess it\u2019s because of hope.\u00a0 I don\u2019t claim to have even a fraction of the hope that Inga exhibited on a regular basis, but I think that\u2019s my goal for the year.\u00a0 More hope in 2016.\u00a0 Hope for myself, hope for the people I love, hope for many little unexpected moments of wonder.<\/p>\n A little over a year ago, just before Christmas, Inga and I had a spontaneous lunch date at Panera. I was headed to her house to drop something off when she suggested that we meet for lunch instead.\u00a0 I remember sitting across from her and she said, \u201cYou\u2019re such a good storyteller.\u00a0 Please don\u2019t ever stop telling stories.\u201d\u00a0 You got it, friend.\u00a0 RRG is officially signed on for another year.\u00a0 The year of Hope.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Since I haven\u2019t had a chance to say this until now, Happy 2016! A year ago I said that I wanted 2015 to be big, and I\u2019m pretty sure I lived up to that. It was certainly a year of surprises.\u00a0 Surprises like a week in the hospital, a trip to Nicaragua, a new step […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-lessonsfromrunning","category-randomthoughts","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-cs","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=772"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/772\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":773,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/772\/revisions\/773"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}