I have managed to get some workouts in here and there, but mostly I\u2019ve been smart and avoided the Missouri summer humidity by driving down the road and making use of my membership at Gold\u2019s. Surprisingly, the thing I\u2019ve been enjoying the most is\u2026drumroll please\u2026the pool.<\/p>\n
Yes, that\u2019s right. Thanks to the Midwest heat and a mild fear of overdoing it, I have gotten very familiar with the best times to avoid the Gold\u2019s Gym pool, like weekdays at 5:30 when it\u2019s 3 people to a lane. Uh, no thanks. I\u2019ve had a few really good swims where I feel comfortable in the water. And then the other day I was struggling so much with my goggles leaking that I almost called it quits and left after 2 laps. But I persevered and managed a half mile and I felt much better because of it.<\/p>\n
Anyway, I\u2019m glad to say that tonight while Ethan had his first soccer practice in the valley, I went back to visit an old friend\u2026the levee. I haven\u2019t run in weeks, but since we finally had a break in the heat today, and I had a break in the crazy, I took advantage of the opportunity to get back on the path where I logged so many miles back in my prime. Well, calling it my prime might be a bit of stretch, but it was back when I was running marathons and earning an occasional PR. I haven\u2019t seen those days in a while. But focuses change and life takes different turns.<\/p>\n
Which is a good lead in to the fact that tonight I ran 3 miles. Slowly. And it left me feeling beat. But to be honest, it was still a win. Because since this whole kidney situation, I\u2019ve become a little afraid of running. What? RRG Afraid of the thing she loves most?! I know. It\u2019s weird. But not really.<\/p>\n
My run tonight hurt. And chances are I will hurt worse on Saturday. I was mildly afraid of the pain, more afraid of how slow I would be, but mostly afraid that I\u2019ve lost it and that I won\u2019t get it back. I didn\u2019t want to start and even after I started, I kind of wanted to quit. But I thought about my swim the other day with the leaky goggles. If I had given up after just a couple laps because of that, I would have missed what turned out to be a great swim. So I didn\u2019t quit, I did what I set out to do.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s the other funny thing about those goggles. They are the same goggles I used the day I became an Ironman. They had never leaked before, but then on race day, they were beyond frustrating. 2.4 miles of dealing with leaky goggles. What if I would have given up during that swim because of that? I would have missed out on something truly incredible.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s something I know\u2026Life is full of obstacles, like leaky goggles. And here\u2019s something else I know\u2026I\u2019m not a quitter. Obviously. But even I need an occasional reminder to push through the obstacles, and the frustrations and the fears, to get the job done. So, as I go forward in an attempt to reclaim my ability, my distance, my pace, my passion, I\u2019ll remember that I\u2019ve gotten through the hard stuff before. It will come back, I just have to keep going.<\/p>\n
Maybe next time I run, I\u2019ll wear those goggles as a reminder.<\/p>\n
Nah, maybe not.<\/p>\n
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