{"id":70,"date":"2013-02-10T10:51:27","date_gmt":"2013-02-10T10:51:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=70"},"modified":"2013-02-12T06:31:07","modified_gmt":"2013-02-12T06:31:07","slug":"step-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=70","title":{"rendered":"Step Out"},"content":{"rendered":"

Did you see that girl running on the levee this morning, battling 30mph wind gusts and sleet?\u00a0 She was nuts! What in the world was she trying to prove?!<\/p>\n

Ummm, nothing, actually.\u00a0 Uh, yeah, that girl was me. Just trying to clear my head after a crazy weekend.\u00a0 A weekend of feeling like I was constantly trying to remember something.\u00a0 A weekend full of questions like\u2026Do you have Campbell\u2019s birthday present?\u00a0 Do you have Will\u2019s birthday present?\u00a0 Did you guys find your basketball jerseys?\u00a0 Did you get everything in your backpack to take to your dad\u2019s house?\u00a0 Did you hear me?! \u00a0Did anyone eat breakfast? \u00a0Did I wash my work shirt? What did I do with the number for the insurance people?\u00a0 Where are your glasses?\u00a0 Where is your mouth guard?\u00a0 For crying out loud, it\u2019s 20 degrees, where is your coat?! \u00a0Who AM I?!\u00a0 Yeah, after a weekend like that, it didn\u2019t matter what the weather was like, I needed a run.\u00a0 A long run.<\/p>\n

As a single parent I feel as though I live in a perpetual state of forgetfulness.\u00a0 Ask any single parent you know and they will tell you that sometimes life gets hard.\u00a0 I mean, you could ask any parent about that, even one with a spouse, and they\u2019ll tell you the same.\u00a0 It\u2019s just different.\u00a0 As a single parent, we know that ultimately we\u2019ll get a break. But we go from one extreme to the other in a matter of minutes.\u00a0 \u00a0After a crazy morning of trying to get the kids to their dad, I dropped them off, went for a run, went to work and then, tonight I find myself as the girl at the grocery store who doesn\u2019t want to buy the whole chicken because she\u2019s just going to end up standing at the kitchen counter, eating it alone.\u00a0 (Bonus points to anyone who can name that movie reference.)\u00a0 Sometimes I feel like I have multiple personalities disorder, it makes my head spin and it\u2019s exhausting.<\/p>\n

Running often mimics life.\u00a0 I was dealing with some of the emotional after effects of divorce this weekend and it was wearing on me.\u00a0 I started doubting myself and wondering\u2026What am I doing?\u00a0 Can I really do this?\u00a0 And my run today followed suit.\u00a0 I was struggling.\u00a0 I was getting blown off the path by some of the gale force winds coming through the valley.\u00a0 The gusts actually made me kick myself a couple times.\u00a0 And I\u2019m sure I had snot in my hair by the time it was all said and done (My apologies if that offends the non-runners). \u00a0So much for a nice, easy 10 miler.\u00a0 It felt more like a fight for my life!<\/p>\n

So there I am struggling along, the ONLY person stupid enough to be out there.\u00a0 Probably a good thing, since there was no one around to hear me start singing at the top of my voice when the perfect song shuffled onto my ipod.\u00a0 The words reminded me, that I CAN do this.\u00a0 My speed picked up because I remembered that no matter how hard and scary things get, I\u2019m not alone, and I\u2019m not the only one who\u2019s been there.<\/p>\n

You look around
\nIt\u2019s staring back at you
\nAnother wave of doubt
\nWill it pull you under, you wonder\u2026<\/p>\n

So get out
\nAnd let your fear fall to the ground
\nNo time to waste, don\u2019t wait
\nAnd don\u2019t you turn around and miss out
\nEverything you were made for
\nI know you\u2019re not sure
\nSo you play it safe
\nTry to run away<\/p>\n

But if you take that first step
\nInto the unknown\u2026<\/p>\n

Anyone who walked through even part of 2012 with me will admit that it was a tough year for me, full of unknowns.\u00a0 But I persevered.\u00a0 Partly because sometimes, there just isn\u2019t \u00a0another option.\u00a0 I don\u2019t always know what the next step is.\u00a0 I don\u2019t always know when the next gust is going to come and blow me over.\u00a0 I don\u2019t ever know what curveball my kids are going to throw at me.\u00a0 (Hey Mom, I have to take a collection of 100 things to school today for the hundredth day of school)\u00a0 But, I\u2019m a mom, so even if I don\u2019t do it all perfectly, I have to show my kids that I will keep trying, even when it\u2019s hard, and scary, and complicated, and disorienting, and confusing and messy.\u00a0 I have to believe that no matter what, I\u2019m doing the best I can.\u00a0 And I won\u2019t ever let fear hold me back from taking a step into the unknown.\u00a0 Because that\u2019s just life.<\/p>\n

Step out, even when it\u2019s storming.
\nStep out, even when you\u2019re broken.
\nStep out, even when your heart is telling you, telling you to give up.
\nStep out, when your hope is stolen.
\nYou can\u2019t see where you\u2019re going.
\nYou don\u2019t have to be afraid.<\/p>\n

What are you waiting for?
\nWhat do you have to lose?
\nYour insecurities try to alter you.
\nYou know you\u2019re made for more
\nSo don\u2019t be afraid to move.
\nYour faith is all it takes
\nAnd you can walk on the water too.<\/p>\n

\"I<\/a>

I wear it on my wrist because it reminds me that I can<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Did you see that girl running on the levee this morning, battling 30mph wind gusts and sleet?\u00a0 She was nuts! What in the world was she trying to prove?! Ummm, nothing, actually.\u00a0 Uh, yeah, that girl was me. Just trying to clear my head after a crazy weekend.\u00a0 A weekend of feeling like I was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":72,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[7,8,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-70","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-onbeingasingleparent","category-onthedword","category-uncategorized","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/IMAG0894.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-18","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=70"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":76,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70\/revisions\/76"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/72"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=70"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=70"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=70"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}