{"id":699,"date":"2015-04-03T04:17:59","date_gmt":"2015-04-03T04:17:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=699"},"modified":"2015-04-03T04:17:59","modified_gmt":"2015-04-03T04:17:59","slug":"resilient-spirit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=699","title":{"rendered":"Resilient Spirit"},"content":{"rendered":"

Do you ever have one of those moments where something triggers a memory and it just stops you in your tracks for a second? You stand there sort of frozen and think, \u201cOh\u2026huh.\u201d \u00a0Well, I had one of those this morning.\u00a0 My friend Phebe is celebrating her 4th<\/sup> wedding anniversary today.\u00a0 When I saw her post on Facebook, I had to stop and think for a second about why I couldn\u2019t remember her celebration.\u00a0 The reason is because I wasn\u2019t actually there.\u00a0 I was supposed to be.\u00a0 I had RSVP\u2019ed.\u00a0 I had bought a great dress to wear for the occasion.<\/p>\n

But the day that her fairy tale started was the same day that mine was officially over.\u00a0 Worse, it was the day that I would have liked nothing more than to slip away into an abyss because I was already living in a black hole of hopelessness and despair.\u00a0 It was the day I was faced with a false reality that I had two choices: Stay trapped or lose everything.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t know what to do, but I knew that if I stayed in that place of turmoil, it would continue to eat away at my core and slowly kill me.\u00a0 It had already killed my spirit.\u00a0 Or so I thought.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s fast forward to a happier time for a moment, shall we?\u00a0 The last month has been outrageously busy. \u00a0In a good way. \u00a0I took my kids on an amazing vacation to Florida for Spring Break, including a few days at Disney World.\u00a0 Just before that, I made the decision to go back to school.\u00a0 I lined up my financial aid and have everything ready to go to start classes in just over a week.\u00a0 I will be a certified medical assistant by the end of 2015 and to say I am excited would be a massive understatement.\u00a0 I said I wanted to make this year big, and I\u2019m making it happen.<\/p>\n

Recently, I\u2019ve come face to face with the amazing strength of some incredible women in my life.\u00a0 My Grandma turned 90 last week. \u00a0I was ecstatic to get the kids over to Quincy to see her on her birthday and celebrate all that she is to me.\u00a0 Last fall, Grandma Norma had major heart surgery and she came through like a champ.\u00a0 We\u2019ve seen her slow down from the energetic go getter she was, but she is still the same witty, hospitable, feisty, and accepting, tell it like it is lady that I have tried to model myself after.\u00a0 She makes me proud to be a Jacobs.<\/p>\n

Last Friday I received an email from Teri.\u00a0 You remember Teri, the one who completed the Ironman World Championship in Kona while undergoing chemo for Stage IV colon cancer?\u00a0 Yeah, THAT Teri.\u00a0 She had pulled some strings and arranged for us to throw Inga a surprise 40th<\/sup> birthday party unlike any other.\u00a0 Myself and a couple girlfriends were supposed to take Inga to lunch that day, but unfortunately, her chemo had to be rescheduled for that very day.\u00a0 So, in typical Inga fashion, she got her kids on the bus, then drove herself to the hospital for an all-day chemo session.\u00a0 I\u2019m not kidding, it was All Day.\u00a0 She was the first one in and the last one out.\u00a0 But she got a surprise mid-day.\u00a0 A group of us formed in the waiting room and then paraded through the infusion center with all the makings of a 40th<\/sup> birthday party.\u00a0 Flowers, balloons, cupcakes, ice cream, we had it all! I couldn\u2019t contain my joy as it overflowed out of my eyes while I watched Teri present Inga with a Powered by Hope medal, two incredible women that I had brought together.\u00a0 Two incredible women, with incredible stories of strength and incredible faith.\u00a0 Oh to have the courage of these ladies!<\/p>\n

So, for the past couple weeks I\u2019ve been pondering, what is it that makes a person strong?\u00a0 What is the definition of strength?<\/p>\n

Webster\u2019s definition of strength is: the quality or state of being strong.\u00a0 Uh, gee thanks, Webster, that\u2019s super helpful.<\/p>\n

So, I went to the definition of strong: having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.\u00a0 That\u2019s not exactly what I was looking for either.\u00a0 My Grandma is 90.\u00a0 She sits in her recliner most days, the only thing she is capable of moving is herself, but she is no less strong that anyone else I know.<\/p>\n

Webster\u2019s second definition of strong: able to withstand great force or pressure.\u00a0 Ok, now we\u2019re getting somewhere\u2026<\/p>\n

Inga has been fighting cancer for 7 years.\u00a0 Monday was her 82nd<\/sup> round of chemo.\u00a0 But Ironwoman Teri said it best when she told Inga, \u201cyou inspire people around you without even saying a word\u201d.<\/p>\n

All of these words kept tumbling around in my brain.\u00a0 What does strength mean to me?\u00a0 The other day when I was running, I was searching for an answer to that.\u00a0 I was thinking about a conversation I had with my Aunt Nancy while I was at my Grandma\u2019s.\u00a0 We were talking about how everyone has a different reality, but we all have hard stuff in our lives.\u00a0 Every single one of us.\u00a0 It\u2019s how we respond to those circumstances that shows who we really are.\u00a0 And finally the definition that came to me was this: being strong means to have a resilient spirit.\u00a0 No matter how many times we get knocked down, or fall down, we continue to get back up and keep on going.<\/p>\n

After I left work today, I went to Babler for a run.\u00a0 I haven\u2019t been there in ages.\u00a0 I used to go there all the time, especially on the really hard days because the hills are intense and I\u2019ve always said that there\u2019s nothing like running hills to remind me that I\u2019m a fighter.<\/p>\n

Today when I got to Babler, it was raining.\u00a0 But I didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 I got out of my car and started to run.\u00a0 Almost immediately it occurred to me, it was just a few weeks before Phebe\u2019s wedding that tornados had ripped through Babler and leveled part of the park.\u00a0 The park had been closed for a few days for the cleanup crew to make it safe again.\u00a0 But the first day it was open, I was back there.\u00a0 That particular day, for no special reason, I ran the loop the opposite direction from the way I always do.\u00a0 Maybe I knew deep down, that I was about to set my life on a totally different course, I don\u2019t know.\u00a0 As I neared the end of that run, I came to the section of the park that had the most devastation.\u00a0 There was a news crew there filming.\u00a0 I even ended up on the news that night.<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s run was a couple minutes slower than that girl a few years ago.\u00a0 Ok, if I\u2019m being honest, it was several minutes slower.\u00a0 When I ran that day years ago, I was training on pace to qualify for Boston.\u00a0 And I am significantly slower now. I was physically stronger then, but at what cost?\u00a0 My mind and heart were a mess. Today was different.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t running to prove anything to myself or anyone else. It didn\u2019t matter how fast I climbed the hills, it just mattered that I kept going and I reached the top. \u00a0I enjoyed the rain on my face, the atmosphere, the sun on my shoulders, the reminder that I am who I am now is because the storms ripped me apart, but my resilient spirit kept going.<\/p>\n

Today I was reminded of where I was 4 years ago, and I was taken aback.\u00a0 I honestly can\u2019t believe that was the same person I am today.\u00a0 I look at how far I\u2019ve come.\u00a0 I\u2019ve made a life for myself.\u00a0 I\u2019m going back to school.\u00a0 I\u2019m an Ironman.\u00a0 I have done a lot of hard work and I really like the person that I am today.\u00a0 I am proud of the Lindsey that I\u2019ve become. I know my purpose, which is simply, to love and be loved.<\/p>\n

It was raining when I started, but after a mile the rain had subsided.\u00a0 The only water on my face was from sweat, and tears.\u00a0 After another mile, the clouds were moving and the sun was trying to shine. And by the time I finished, the sky was blue.\u00a0 It was temporary. \u00a0The thunderstorms rolled in again shortly after. But that\u2019s usually the way it goes.\u00a0 So I\u2019ve learned to enjoy the sun when it shines.<\/p>\n

Today, as I stood in the road looking at that clearing, I was amazed at how much growth had occurred, the flowers were blooming everywhere. The very thought made me laugh out loud at the symbolism. It was the blooms in the broken wreckage, the old and the new all mashed together, it\u2019s resilient spirit, which made it so beautiful.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you ever have one of those moments where something triggers a memory and it just stops you in your tracks for a second? You stand there sort of frozen and think, \u201cOh\u2026huh.\u201d \u00a0Well, I had one of those this morning.\u00a0 My friend Phebe is celebrating her 4th wedding anniversary today.\u00a0 When I saw her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-randomthoughts","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-bh","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=699"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":700,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/699\/revisions\/700"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}