This post begins with a public apology to my family and friends for being completely MIA for the month of October. The month kicked off with my birthday and it didn\u2019t slow down.\u00a0 At all.\u00a0 I think I talked to my mom for a total of 5 minutes in 31 days.\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty sure I traded a few voicemails with Britta before she finally gave up on me.\u00a0 I got a text from her the other day that said, \u201cI\u2019m hoping to talk to you in 2015\u2026\u201d I know there were more than a few folks whose texts of \u201cHey, are you still alive?\u201d that probably went unanswered.\u00a0 For all of this, I am truly sorry.\u00a0 Please know that none of you were forgotten.\u00a0 October was just a month of eating, sleeping and breathing all things Ironman.<\/p>\n
And now that I\u2019m into the taper, I am mostly just about eating, sleeping and breathing in general. Seriously, if I\u2019m awake, I\u2019m stuffing food in my face.\u00a0 Even as I sit here at my desk I am surrounded by coffee, water, banana, granola bars, etc.<\/p>\n
Wow, I\u2019m not even really sure where to begin with everything that has happened in the past month. After celebrating the 39th<\/sup> anniversary of my birth, I completed a 70.3 in some pretty rough conditions.\u00a0 It was a character building day, that\u2019s for sure.\u00a0 The water temperature was rumored to be 54 degrees.\u00a0 At least the temperature distracted all of us from thinking about the \u201cyuck factor\u201d of the water we were swimming in.\u00a0 And the fact that it was so murky we couldn\u2019t see our own hands in the pitch blackness of the water.\u00a0 Some of my friends are still fighting infections of various kinds.\u00a0 And several of us had vertigo from the cold water.\u00a0 So of course it made sense to get on a bike.\u00a0 In the transition I couldn\u2019t even feel my fingers to put on socks, or gloves, or fasten my bike helmet.\u00a0 But I persevered.\u00a0 It was a windy ride out through the flats of Newtown.\u00a0 Highlights included seeing various friends along the course, the lack of promised Port-o-Pottys at Mile 29 and riding past Lindsey Farrell\u2019s grandparent\u2019s house where we had taken wedding photos a year prior. Oh and my friend Pam\u2019s fianc\u00e9 flying past me around Mile 50.\u00a0 \u201cHi Lindsey, it\u2019s Zach\u201d he yelled as he zoomed past.\u00a0 Why in the world is he passing me now, I wondered.\u00a0 Turns out he was determined to beat me for the world\u2019s longest transition.\u00a0 I had spent almost 12 minutes in T1, but Zach had spent 45 minutes sitting in an ambulance to warm up after completing the swim not wearing a wetsuit.\u00a0 Even I wore a wetsuit this time, so that\u2019s saying something.<\/p>\n When I finally made it over the bridge into Alton where T2 was located, I was never so happy to see a row of port-o-pottys in all my life! After swapping out my bike stuff for run stuff, I made a pit stop.\u00a0 My bladder was grateful.\u00a0 The run was somewhat uninteresting as the course goes, but it was warmer, and I was glad to have company from Justin and Jen.\u00a0 Seeing so many familiar faces along the way made it a party.\u00a0 Crossing the finish line with Jen was probably the best part of the day.\u00a0 We had started on the beach together that morning and we saw it through to the end.<\/p>\n Another highlight of the day: As we made our way through that brutally cold and murky swim, with carp trying to jump onto the kayaks (yes, seriously, I actually saw this happen) I overheard a couple swimming next to me. He was talking to her in a very calming voice, saying things like, \u201cIt\u2019s a beautiful day for a triathlon\u201d, \u201cJust side stroke it out, it\u2019s alright\u201d and \u201cWe\u2019re just going for a nice easy swim, the water is beautiful.\u201d\u00a0 I assure you, there was nothing beautiful about that water, but he almost made me believe him.\u00a0 As we swam I said, \u201cI like you guys.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to stay here with you.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cYeah, we\u2019re just having a swimming party.\u201d\u00a0 Me: \u201cI\u2019m not sure what I\u2019m doing right now looks much like swimming.\u00a0 It kind of resembles the doggy paddle.\u201d\u00a0 Him:\u00a0 \u201cWhatever.\u00a0 At the end of the day, you\u2019re still a triathlete.\u201d<\/p>\n A few days later, when I was sort of recovered, I joined Barb in Columbia, IL for my first ever century ride. We got a beautiful fall day and rode the flats of Mississippi River valley on the Illinois side.\u00a0 We agreed to both take it easy and just get through the miles since we were coming off 70.3 and she was headed into Chicago Marathon weekend. \u00a0There was a stretch in the middle of the ride that I struggled with but I was surprised at how good I felt upon completion of 100 miles on the bike.\u00a0 It was another boost of confidence pointing toward Arizona.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve done several long runs, mileage in the teens. 16 miles with Steve, Steve and Dr. Brian at Creve Coeur Lake.\u00a0 A 3 hour run in Rockwood and Al Foster where my Garmin died at the end so exact mileage is unknown. We also had Rock n Roll Marathon weekend when I worked the expo, hit a Pedal the Cause fundraiser on Saturday and then ran the half marathon with Farrell before heading over the work later in the day on Sunday.\u00a0 I spent a lot of that weekend looking around and thinking\u2026\u201dI really have the coolest job ever.\u201d<\/p>\n A couple weeks ago, I did another century ride. Steve actually took the day off of work to go ride with me.\u00a0 I let him plan the course.\u00a0 I said \u201cnot flat\u201d.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t disappoint.\u00a0 It was another character building day, since I was mentally screaming, \u201cI don\u2019t want to be on this bike anymore!\u201d And that was at about Mile 12.\u00a0 It was a day of gutting it out, getting through the miles, one hill at time.\u00a0 7ish hours later, Steve knew I was spent when I couldn\u2019t even find words to respond to him.\u00a0 As we got back to his house, I propped my bike against the car and promptly laid down in the grass.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t too long until the smile returned to my face.\u00a0 I\u2019d made it.<\/p>\n A few days later, I was heading out to Lake St. Louis on a Sunday morning to meet Steve again, and our friend Luis. But this time there were no bikes involved.\u00a0 This one was about swimming.\u00a0 It was maybe 50 degrees that morning.\u00a0 All the way there, I cried.\u00a0 I did not want to put on my wetsuit or get into that cold water or swim the entire 2.4 miles that I needed to practice for my big day in Arizona.\u00a0 I was the first one to arrive at the clubhouse.\u00a0 I sat in the car.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t want to get out.\u00a0 I stared at the bracelet on my wrist that reads Courage.\u00a0 I thought of Teri.\u00a0 I wondered how many times Teri had driven to chemo thinking\u2026I don\u2019t want to do this.\u00a0 And so, I sucked it up, got out of the car and put on my wetsuit.\u00a0 The boys arrived and we walked down to the beach.\u00a0 I procrastinated.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 Finally our swim was underway.\u00a0 Luis would swim ahead to \u201cmark the course\u201d or rather be the buoy for me to swim to.\u00a0 And Steve would stay close to me for company.<\/p>\n While we swam, my theme song through my training for Arizona played on repeat in my head. Just as it had on my century with Barb.\u00a0 And my century with Steve.\u00a0 And on that one run when I had forgotten my ipod.\u00a0 And all those times in the pool, staring at the blue line.\u00a0 All that time in the water, or on the road gives you a lot of time to think.\u00a0 It can be a little like looking into a mirror.<\/p>\n The song goes like this\u2026\u201cSpent today in a conversation, in the mirror face to face with, somebody less than perfect. I wouldn\u2019t choose me first if I was looking for a champion. In fact I\u2019d understand if you picked everyone before me.\u00a0 But that\u2019s just not my story.\u00a0 True to who you are you saw my heart and made\u2026something out of nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n Steve and Luis and I finished a loop around the lake. We were half way there.\u00a0 1.2 miles.\u00a0 Luis asked if we were going around again.\u00a0 Ok, let\u2019s do this.\u00a0 And so we set off again in the same fashion.\u00a0 Luis leading the way and cheering me on as I swam around him.\u00a0 After just under 2 hours in the water (yes, I\u2019m that slow) we were headed back for the beach.\u00a0 Luis\u2019 kids were cheering my name from the shore.\u00a0 Steve and Luis were right there as I finally put my feet on the sand and stood up. \u00a0I hit stop on my Garmin and moved my goggles from my eyes. \u00a0I\u2019m sure Steve could see the tears brimming when he high-fived me.\u00a0 And I\u2019m sure they both heard my voice crack slightly when I said, \u201cI did it\u201d.<\/p>\n That was the last piece falling into place. Proof that I could do the 2.4 mile swim of an Ironman in less than the 2 hours and 20 minute time limit allowed.\u00a0 That was one of the best feelings ever. It was relief.\u00a0 It was confidence.\u00a0 It was the personification of \u201ccourage\u201d.<\/p>\n Luis\u2019 wife Melissa had brought all kinds of food out for us. I quickly stuffed my face and then I bustled off to work so I could wash the lake off of me before any customers showed up.<\/p>\n The past month has held some pretty amazing moments that I will cherish forever. Not just as my memories of training for Ironman Arizona, but also just going forward through life in general.\u00a0 People giving up their free time for me, people taking off work to spend the day training with me, people cheering me on and celebrating my victories.\u00a0 The memory of standing on the shore before Border Wars hugging Kris, Jen, and Adrianne, in an attempt to stay warm before the dreaded plunge.\u00a0 As we stood there, Karen walked over to me and said, \u201cI can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.\u201d\u00a0 It was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment.\u00a0 A few minutes later as I made my way into the water with all the other wetsuits and pink swim caps, trying to avoid an anxiety attack, those words were ringing in my ears.\u00a0 And they stayed with me through that entire race.\u00a0 Unfortunately, that was not Karen\u2019s day to race.\u00a0 Before I got to the first buoy, I looked over my shoulder to see a look of pure panic on Karen\u2019s face and I pointed to the kayak.\u00a0 But I held on to her words.\u00a0 And as I crossed the finish line later that day, Karen was standing right there.\u00a0 I hugged her and assured her that she didn\u2019t not finish her race, she just had a different purpose for being there that day.\u00a0 It was to remind me how to get through the hard days.<\/p>\n In less than a week, I will load up Isaac the Santa Fe and head west to Arizona. The hard part is done.\u00a0 Now it\u2019s time to trust my training and go enjoy the day.\u00a0 I will carry all of the last month with me into that.\u00a0 And no matter what the day looks like, at the end of it, I will still be a triathlete.\u00a0 I won\u2019t be first and I won\u2019t be fast.\u00a0 But that\u2019s not what it\u2019s about for me.<\/p>\n There is another line in my theme song that goes, \u201cI\u2019m not living for applause, I\u2019m already so adored.\u201d Training for this race has been hard.\u00a0 The time, the effort, the resources.\u00a0 I\u2019m not doing it to prove anything to anyone but myself.\u00a0 But the best part is what others have shown me along the way through encouraging me, supporting me, training with me.<\/p>\n I think back to where I was when this journey started almost 3 years ago. And where I am now.\u00a0 I have been remade. I am so adored. Something out of nothing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This post begins with a public apology to my family and friends for being completely MIA for the month of October. The month kicked off with my birthday and it didn\u2019t slow down.\u00a0 At all.\u00a0 I think I talked to my mom for a total of 5 minutes in 31 days.\u00a0 I\u2019m pretty sure I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-679","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-randomthoughts","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-aX","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/679","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=679"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/679\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":680,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/679\/revisions\/680"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=679"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=679"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=679"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}