Perhaps it\u2019s because I turn 39 in just a few short hours, but I have been feeling somewhat reflective today.<\/p>\n
This morning, my kids were at my door bright and early. Ally had requested to come to my house before school so I could help do her hair for picture day.\u00a0 The boys ran inside to grab more breakfast while Ally got the curling iron heated up.\u00a0 During the backpack handoff, their dad and I came to an agreement on ordering a picture package that we can just split rather than ordering two as we have done in the past.\u00a0 Dare I say we are making progress?<\/p>\n
A whirlwind 20 minutes later we were in the car on our way to school and while we sat at the world\u2019s longest stoplight, I looked over at my daughter as she told a story about horses. \u201cWho is this kid?\u201d I thought.\u00a0 How am I possibly old enough to be her mom?\u00a0 She\u2019s so grown up.<\/p>\n
When I pulled into the drop off circle, Ally and Ethan jumped out fairly quickly. Silas, as usual, was the pokey one.\u00a0 He is also the only one who will still give me a kiss goodbye upon request.\u00a0 Sadly, I don\u2019t know how much longer he\u2019ll do that.<\/p>\n
I went about my morning. A trip to the post office to mail some bills (yes, I still do that even though the majority of the world does it online) followed by a visit to Dr. Brian to get me ready for my race on Sunday.\u00a0 A stop at the bank, and the gas station and finally Starbucks.<\/p>\n
By the time I got to the gym, it was closing in on noon. I ran into Maria at the door.\u00a0 Even though I half expected to see her, it\u2019s still funny to randomly run into a friend from 30 years ago. \u00a0I did a warm up on the elliptical before changing into my swimsuit and heading to the pool.\u00a0 I had the pool to myself at first, which is pretty typical.\u00a0 It\u2019s funny, a couple weeks ago when I signed up at Gold\u2019s, it occurred to me that it was the first time I have ever in my life signed up for a gym membership by my own decision and completely on my own dime.\u00a0 Weird.\u00a0 Even weirder still?\u00a0 That the very first thing I did after signing the papers was go jump in the pool.\u00a0 I\u2019ve used the pool more than any other part of the facility so far.\u00a0 So when I say I usually have the pool to myself, I mean all 5 times I\u2019ve been in it.<\/p>\n
But today, interestingly enough, the pool was the happening place to be. And before I tell this story, let me offer 2 things.\u00a0 1.\u00a0 I am in absolutely no position to make fun of anyone\u2019s abilities, so please don\u2019t take this as such.\u00a0 And 2. I don\u2019t claim to be an expert at much of anything, least of all swimming.<\/p>\n
So, anyway, after about 10 minutes, I noticed a fellow in the far lane from me. My initial reaction whenever I see anyone else in the pool is\u2026Oh boy, I hope they don\u2019t notice how slow I am.\u00a0 But as I paused to fix a leak in my goggles, I noticed that the fella in the far lane didn\u2019t even have goggles.\u00a0 He was barely putting his face in the water.\u00a0 That was the first thing Coach Andy told me to do 2 years ago.\u00a0 The second was \u201crelax your shoulders\u201d.\u00a0 \u201cFar Lane\u201d looked just as tense as I had initially.\u00a0 Which is probably why a guy at Lifetime had suggested I take some lessons a couple years ago.\u00a0 Granted he was right, but no one likes unsolicited advice.\u00a0 I never showed my face (or any other part of me) in that pool ever again.\u00a0 I think \u201cFar Lane\u201d did 4 lengths.\u00a0 Two full laps in the pool, I calculated as I passed him with ease, and then he resigned.\u00a0 Yeah, I remember those days of only being able to swim a couple laps and then giving up out of exhaustion or frustration.\u00a0 Or both. No judgment from me, Far Lane.<\/p>\n
Again, I had the pool to myself. And then a moment later, a girl in a Tyr two-piece suit came in and set her towel and water bottle near the end of the pool, taking the place of Far Lane. \u00a0She put on her swim cap and goggles and looked the part of a real swimmer.\u00a0 Again I thought, \u201cPlease don\u2019t notice how painfully slow I am\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
I continued my swim, paying no mind to how many laps I was doing today. I just wanted to do a consistent swim for 30 minutes without using the end of the pool to take a break or push off toward the other end.\u00a0 I don\u2019t have the slightest idea how to do flip turns, but as a triathlete I don\u2019t really need to.\u00a0 Basically, I just get to the end of the blue line on the bottom of the pool and then change my stroke to get turned around going in the other direction.\u00a0 We\u2019ll call that the \u201ctriathlete\u2019s adaptation of open water swim in a pool\u201d.\u00a0 Anyway, I was just doing my thing, watching the clock, trying not to be obvious that I was trying to see \u201cLooks the part\u201d through the peripheral view of my goggles.\u00a0 Wait\u2026did I just pass her?\u00a0 No, I had to be imagining that.\u00a0 And besides, even if I did, she\u2019s probably still doing a warm up.\u00a0 But several minutes went by and I realized that I was doing almost 2 lengths to her 1. \u00a0Ok, so it is entirely possible that my competitive juices kicked in and I began trying to see how much faster I could swim than her.\u00a0 But can you blame me?\u00a0 I\u2019m never faster than anyone in the pool!\u00a0 As I climbed out of the pool, I patted myself on the back for the fact that now I can go knock out a 30 or 45 minute or hour long swim, my biggest concern being boredom.\u00a0 Not breathing, not exhausted shoulders, not wondering whether or not I can do it.\u00a0 Just simply I don\u2019t want to stare at that blue line while counting my strokes any longer.\u00a0 In a race setting, it\u2019s relentless forward progress toward a tangible finish line.\u00a0 Training in the pool is relentless forward progress toward the wall, and then back, over and over again.\u00a0 But it trains your mind to keep going, even when you really, really, REALLY don\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n
As I wrapped my towel around me, I noticed that \u201cLooks the part\u201d didn\u2019t so much cut through the water like a pro, but sort of wound through the water more like a snake. Since I don\u2019t know that much about swimming technique, I won\u2019t even try to pretend that I could coach her into a more efficient stroke.\u00a0 I just know that she probably could glide through the water more effectively if she didn\u2019t have the limp noodle thing going on.\u00a0 But, who am I to evaluate?<\/p>\n
So, whoever sent me an early birthday gift of not one, but TWO slower swimmers than myself today, Thank you! But in seriousness, that whole experience again made me take note of how far I\u2019ve come.\u00a0 3 years ago I had no desire to even attempt a triathlon, even less desire to go the distance of an Ironman.\u00a0 And why was that?\u00a0 One thing: the great unknown.\u00a0 I knew nothing about swimming.\u00a0 Or racing a bike.\u00a0 And especially not putting 3 sports together.\u00a0 But at that same time, as I was facing so many other unknowns, I decided to give it a Go.<\/p>\n
I always say the hardest part about running up hill is that you only see how far you have left to go, and not how far you\u2019ve come. But today reminded me to turn around every once in a while and be proud of how far I\u2019ve come.<\/p>\n
Right now, as I type this, my kids are asleep upstairs after a crazy evening of homework, dinner, Tae Kwon Do, Gymnastics and buying crickets for the lizard. There is wrapping paper strewn about Ally\u2019s bedroom floor.\u00a0 There is a poster board and markers all over the dining room table, even though I\u2019m not supposed to look in there.\u00a0 And when I put Silas to bed tonight, he made me set an alarm for the morning so that he and Ally can get up to do \u201cbirthday things\u201d.\u00a0 It\u2019s precious and terrifying at the same time.\u00a0 But that pretty accurately describes my life.\u00a0 Precious and terrifying. \u00a0After the \u201cbirthday things\u201d, I will spend the day doing things I love.\u00a0 I will get my first pumpkin spice latte of the season.\u00a0 It\u2019s tradition.\u00a0 And I will go to lunch with my girlfriends.\u00a0 And spend time with my kids.\u00a0 And tomorrow evening my beau is making dinner for me.\u00a0 But after I drop the kids at school, I will go for my annual reflection run.<\/p>\n
I will look back over the past 39 years and I acknowledge how blessed I am to be standing right here right now, right where I am. I\u2019ll looking back at the valleys I\u2019ve climbed out of and know that God willing, I\u2019ve got a whole lot more climbing to do. \u00a0I don\u2019t know what hills are still ahead of me, but I know that I\u2019m courageous and strong enough to get over them. I’ll turn around once in a while to remember where I’m coming from. And it will be worth it.\u00a0 Because as challenging as it is to get there, the view from the top is always magnificent.\u00a0 My life is not perfect, but it\u2019s mine. My journey. Relentless forward progress into the unknown. Precious and terrifying.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Perhaps it\u2019s because I turn 39 in just a few short hours, but I have been feeling somewhat reflective today. This morning, my kids were at my door bright and early. Ally had requested to come to my house before school so I could help do her hair for picture day.\u00a0 The boys ran inside […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[11,7,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-674","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-conquering-fears","category-onbeingasingleparent","category-randomthoughts","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-aS","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/674","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=674"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/674\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":676,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/674\/revisions\/676"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=674"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=674"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=674"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}