In our ever changing world there are at least two things that continuously remain the same. 1) Despite our best efforts to slow it down, time continues to march on. And 2) Nothing ever goes the way we think it\u2019s \u201csupposed to\u201d.<\/p>\n
Today my kids started school. No matter how much I want them to stay as they are, they keep getting older. I have a 1st grader, a 3rd grader and a 6th grader. Yep, middle school. We are blazing forth into unknown territory, yet again.<\/p>\n
This is a weird time of year. It\u2019s exciting and scary at the same time. It brings the thrill, and anxiety, of the unknown. We look at our kids, our babies, we wonder about all that lies ahead for them and at the same time we are forced to acknowledge how far they have come.<\/p>\n
In recent years, the first day of school has become a tough one for me. Due to the custody arrangement, my kids are always with their dad the night before school starts and for the dawning of a new academic year. Things I once took for granted as a mom\u2019s \u201cjob\u201d, like writing little notes to put in first day of school lunches and fighting the battle of lining everyone up on the front porch for a picture, are no longer a part of my reality. We have developed our own traditions, our \u201cnew normal\u201d, which now includes me driving over to school on the morning of the first day to meet my kids out front for a picture.<\/p>\n
This morning I was up before my alarm, threw on my Lake St. Louis Triathlon t-shirt that I earned over the weekend, and headed up to school. As soon as I started backing out of the garage, I heard a loud CRUNCH! As soon as I did it, I knew what it was. Last night, the little boy who lives next door had come over to borrow Ethan\u2019s Ripstick. In the process he found a toad hopping into my garage, so he captured it and put it in a little cage that Ethan uses for all the critters he finds. I told Caden he was welcome to play with it, but to make sure and let the toad go before he went inside for the night. Later, he returned the Ripstick and informed me he had left the cage by the garage. I didn\u2019t realize he meant right behind my car. Nor did I remember to look for it as I rushed out to greet my kiddos for a first day of school hug at 7:45 this morning.<\/p>\n
After I assessed the minor explosion, I quickly ran inside and grabbed a plastic bag, then began picking up the shards of broken plastic that littered my driveway. I crouched near my tire and listened for the dreaded hiss of air escaping, but I seemed to be in the clear. I discarded the bag of trash, jumped in the car and was on my way. When I arrived at school, I parked and quickly walked to the drop off area where familiar teachers were all smiles welcoming new and returning students. As I reached Mrs. Hackman I asked, \u201cYou haven\u2019t seen my kids yet, have you?\u201d She hugged me and responded, \u201cYes, they\u2019re already inside.\u201d<\/p>\n
What? I already miss the opportunity to see them before school on the first day, and now I\u2019ve missed seeing them all together before they go inside? That\u2019s not how it\u2019s supposed to be!<\/p>\n
But at that moment, I just kept rolling with the punches. I went and found them in their classrooms and took a picture of each one. Ethan was mortified that I showed up and tried to pretend he didn\u2019t know me. But I managed to get a picture anyway. Silas was all smiles, gave me a big hug and then had me fix his shoelaces because he didn\u2019t like how they were tied. Ally was upstairs, huddled with her girlfriends, organizing their lockers. She looked relieved to see me, as if she thought I had forgotten or overslept.<\/p>\n
And then, as quickly as all that, I headed out the door and on my way into another very warm August day. That was that. It wasn\u2019t what it was supposed to be, but I survived it.<\/p>\n
Similarly, this past weekend was the Lake St. Louis Tri. It was literally about 95 degrees on Saturday during the peak of my race. That is definitely not what race day is supposed to be. I call \u201cNo fair!\u201d Can I get a \u201cdo-over?\u201d<\/p>\n
As I drove over to LSL on Friday night, to spend the night at Farrell\u2019s, since she and Ryan conveniently purchased a house just a block from the transition area, I was feeling reminiscent of how far I\u2019ve come over the past couple years as well. I drove past Provence Road and I remembered parking there with Nick 2 years ago, the morning of my very first Triathlon. He teased me for not knowing how to check my bike tires, then he did it for me. After that race, I returned to the car and opened a card from Faith congratulating me on my race and a magnet that read \u2018TRI\u2019 which I promptly slapped on the back of my car. I drove past Cognac street, the big hill at the end of the bike course that leads back up to the transition. I thought about my pre-race course preview ride with Steve 2 years ago. As we headed up that hill, my chain started making a funny noise and I said, \u201cOh crap, I think my chain just fell off!\u201d Steve immediately stopped to help me as I pedaled right on by saying \u201cOh, nope, I\u2019m ok.\u201d He called me a jerk as he started back up that hill from a dead standstill. I thought about that race day 2 years ago, how nervous I was. Having never done a triathlon, I was entering a totally foreign arena. I was completely unprepared for the swim. I was riding and antiquated Trek. And I had no idea how much that 10k would hurt more than any marathon I had ever run. But I took a leap of faith, with a lot of encouragement from Farrell, and I went out on that course. That was the hardest race I had ever done. But the sense of accomplishment when I finished was overwhelming.<\/p>\n
As I stood on the beach at 7am Saturday morning with Katie and Brian and Kris and several others, we were already agonizing over the fact that we were sweating before we had even entered the water. We knew this was gonna be a hot one. Not what race day is supposed to be. But I decided to just treat it as a training day. Again, I didn\u2019t feel prepared for the swim, but I knew I was in way better shape than 2 years ago. And I stood there, I thought again about how far I\u2019ve come in the past 2 years. I\u2019ve learned how to do things I never could have imagined. I\u2019ve struggled and scraped by some times, other times I\u2019ve been astounded by my own strength and abilities.<\/p>\n
Finally, it was time for the pink wave to enter the water. I waded in and stayed to the side with the slower swimmers. I took it easy from the start and just tried to find a rhythm. At the first buoy I saw that I was still with the majority of the pack. By the halfway point, I was amazed at how comfortable I was and thrilled that I had actually figured out how to sight the buoys in the distance. Sometimes things just click. Finally I rounded the last buoy and headed back to the beach. As I reached the sand and looked down at my watch, I smiled to see that I had just gotten a PR on the swim. Progress!<\/p>\n
The bike went fine. Since I knew Kris was just up ahead of me I had a rabbit to chase. I caught her around mile 19, but I knew she was right behind me. I said hi to her as I tried to go the wrong way out of the transition from the bike to the run. I was redirected, got back on course and headed out for the final leg. Wes and Kristen cheered. At the top of the hill, the Swim Bike Run crew was on one side cheering for me and the Westside Multi Sport crew was on the other side cheering for me. I felt like I had my own fan club. And to think, 2 years prior, I only knew about 4 people along the course.<\/p>\n
The run was tough. It was hot and I had a hard time getting my heart rate under control. I slowed to walk up a hill and took some deep breaths. I realized I had forgotten my handheld water bottle in transition so I had to wait til I got to the first water station. I was thrilled to arrive there where I guzzled a cup of water, poured one over my head, and guzzled another cup. I ran through every sprinkler I saw. I drank whenever I could. I cheered for friends along the way.
\nAnd then finally I was coming back up the hill into the finish area. It was done. Finally and suddenly, at the same time. Once again, I had survived.<\/p>\n
Luis greeted me with a sweaty hug at the finish and handed me a bottle of water. I said Hi to Adam and Sarah as I made my way over to Wes and Kristen. It was just a couple minutes later that Kris came into the finish. I cheered in my boss, Debby. And eventually, I began to gather up my gear and head back to Farrell\u2019s. I stopped at the top of the hill to talk to Ronette and Kerstin for a minute. Ronette grabbed me a chocolate milk to help me recover. And Kerstin said the best thing that anyone could have said to me after that race. She said, \u201cYa know what I loved about seeing you out there today, Lindsey? Every time I saw you, you had a smile on your face.\u201d<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s how I really know that I\u2019ve learned how to roll with the punches. Because even when things are tough and they aren\u2019t going the way they\u2019re supposed to, you better believe that I\u2019m gonna go out there and smile because no matter what the circumstances, I know without a doubt that I am doing the absolute best I can and I\u2019m gonna come through ok in the end.<\/p>\n
As I drove away from school this morning, which also marked the 2 year anniversary of my freedom, a song came on the radio and the chorus has been ringing in my head today. The song is called Through All of It and the lyrics were very apropos for all of the thoughts swirling through my head about how life sometimes takes us in a different direction than we think it’s supposed to.\u00a0And\u00a0so I will leave them with you now\u2026<\/p>\n
There are days I’ve taken more than I can give
\nAnd there are choices that I made
\nThat I wouldn’t make again
\nI’ve had my share of laughter
\nOf tears and troubled times
\nThis is has been the story of my life<\/p>\n
I have won and I have lost
\nI got it right sometimes
\nBut sometimes I did not
\nLife’s been a journey
\nI’ve seen joy, I’ve seen regret
\nOh and You have been my God
\nThrough all of it<\/p>\n
You were there when it all came down on me
\nAnd I was blinded by my fear
\nAnd I struggled to believe
\nBut in those unclear moments
\nYou were the one keeping me strong
\nThis is how my story’s always gone<\/p>\n
I have won and I have lost
\nI got it right sometimes
\nBut sometimes I did not
\nLife’s been a journey
\nI’ve seen joy, I’ve seen regret
\nOh and You have been my God
\nThrough all of it
\nThrough all of it<\/p>\n
And this is who You are
\nMore constant than the stars up in the sky
\nAll these years of our lives
\nI look back and I see You
\nRight now I still do
\nAnd I’m always going to<\/p>\n
I have won and I have lost
\nI got it right sometimes
\nBut sometimes I did not
\nLife’s been a journey
\nI’ve seen joy
\nI’ve seen regret
\nOh and You have been my God
\nThrough all of it<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
In our ever changing world there are at least two things that continuously remain the same. 1) Despite our best efforts to slow it down, time continues to march on. And 2) Nothing ever goes the way we think it\u2019s \u201csupposed to\u201d. Today my kids started school. No matter how much I want them to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-randomthoughts","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-aF","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=661"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":663,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/661\/revisions\/663"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}