{"id":480,"date":"2013-09-25T04:20:00","date_gmt":"2013-09-25T04:20:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=480"},"modified":"2013-09-25T12:57:43","modified_gmt":"2013-09-25T12:57:43","slug":"roots-n-blues","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=480","title":{"rendered":"Roots N Blues"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I woke up yesterday morning I had every intention of going to boxing, but instead I went for a 5 mile run because honestly, I had a lot to process from the weekend.<\/p>\n

I ran the Roots N Blues half marathon on Saturday.\u00a0 Some races go well.\u00a0 Some races not so much.\u00a0 And there are those days where you crash and burn and the whole event seemingly goes down in a fiery ball of flames and devastation.\u00a0 Which in turn leaves you feeling like a wasted pile of ash and debris.\u00a0 Saturday was one of those<\/i> days.\u00a0 The Blues part was certainly appropriate.<\/p>\n

The race itself wasn\u2019t too bad actually, but here\u2019s how the weekend went.\u00a0 Friday after work I grabbed my kiddos from school and made the 90 minute trip West on 70 to CoMo (Columbia, MO for non-Missouri natives).\u00a0 We got to my friend Phebe\u2019s house just in time for dinner.\u00a0 Phebe and I have known each other since we went to camp together as kids, and as fate would have it, we reconnected a few years ago, right around the time I moved to MO.\u00a0 Coincidentally, she got married the very same day that my marriage officially bit the dust.\u00a0 Kind of like my race day this weekend.<\/p>\n

Phebe was supposed to run this weekend too, but she had some difficulties training in the heat of the summer, so she decided to postpone her half-marathon debut.\u00a0 Back in June, while my Ragnar team was piled in the van on the return trip from Chicago, Wes\u2019s son John, who goes to Mizzou, mentioned the Roots N Blues half marathon and several of us put it on the calendar.\u00a0 So, although Phebe was unable to be at the start line with me on Saturday morning, I had several others there.\u00a0 Wes, Shane and Kristen also ran the half, while Mark and John both opted for the 10k.\u00a0 At 6:30ish, I met up with my crew to get my bib and timing chip from Shane who had picked up my packet for me the day before.\u00a0 We were hanging near the start, doing race prep, and another familiar face showed up.\u00a0 Amy, a fellow Fleet Feet-er and student at Mizzou, was ready to rock her first half marathon.\u00a0 She talked me through the course a bit, since she knew it better than I did.\u00a0 It sounded like it might be tougher than I was planning on.\u00a0 But, I figured I would just go with it. I was hoping for a PR, but not really sure what to expect due to some recent knee pain.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The before…RRG, Wes, Mark, Shane & Kristen<\/p><\/div>\n

The race got underway and I separated from my compadres as soon as we crossed the start line.\u00a0 We\u2019re all there to support each other, but we all have to run our own race.\u00a0 It was a pretty course.\u00a0 Great scenery.\u00a0 But hilly and challenging.\u00a0 Ultimately not my best race, but still not bad.\u00a0 The good news is my knee felt fine, probably thanks to the vast amount of time I spent on the foam roller the previous day.<\/p>\n

The route was beautiful.\u00a0 The first mile or so was hilly as we left the downtown area and ran through the Mizzou campus.\u00a0 Eventually we came to the MKT trail which is where the bulk of the course landed us.\u00a0 It\u2019s not as difficult to run on as true trail, but it\u2019s not quite as fast as a pavement either.\u00a0 The views were spectacular. \u00a0We ran along a path that lead us into this tree covered trail.\u00a0 At one point we came upon a misty field, the sky was blue and the moon was still hovering.\u00a0 Gorgeous.\u00a0 We ran across several wooden bridges over the creek bed, which bounced slightly, making it feel like running on a trampoline.\u00a0 It was hard to take in the view from both directions, but I tried.\u00a0 Again, gorgeous.\u00a0 We ran around a little lake with the sun reflecting its radiance.\u00a0 In the middle of the race, the moments of beauty were frequent.<\/p>\n

At about mile 8, some guy started pushing into me and I couldn\u2019t figure out why he was crowding me off the path.\u00a0 Until I looked over and saw Shane.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t have been happier to see him.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t feeling particularly stellar.\u00a0 He asked, \u201cHow are you feeling, Runner Girl?\u201d\u00a0 I responded, \u201cEh, ok, not great.\u201d\u00a0 He said, \u201cWell, you look great, so let\u2019s start with that.\u201d\u00a0 I smiled.\u00a0 We were only together for a minute or so and he started to pull away.\u00a0 I let him.\u00a0 He gave me the encouragement I needed, but, like I said,\u00a0we all have to run our own race.<\/p>\n

Then I started to get mad that he was pulling away, so I told myself, \u201cLinds, if you don\u2019t want to get left behind, go catch up!\u201d\u00a0 I tried to stay with him.\u00a0 I would start to gain on him, then back off a little, and then I\u2019d get close again.\u00a0 I never did catch him.\u00a0 But I tried to keep him in my sights the whole time.\u00a0 I was mostly successful.\u00a0 The last couple miles were some pretty tough hills.\u00a0 Even the girl who loves hills was cursing the steep grade at that point. \u00a0With a half mile to go I noticed John standing on the sidewalk waiting for Wes.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t talk but I got John\u2019s attention and we fist bumped, or something that vaguely resembled a fist bump anyway. \u00a0Ultimately, I finished about a minute and a half behind Shane.\u00a0 He was waiting at the finish for me.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t exactly sure of my official time.\u00a0 I knew it wasn\u2019t the PR I had hoped for.\u00a0 I had held back somewhat due to that sketchy knee pain I experienced on my Thursday run at Babler.\u00a0 I had been worried about pushing too hard and blowing things for Chicago in a few weeks.\u00a0 But I was still hopeful that my chip time would put me just under an hour and 50 minutes.\u00a0 It did.\u00a0 Just barely.\u00a0 1:49:53. 14th female ages 30-39.\u00a0 I\u2019ll take that.<\/p>\n

As I put my medal around my neck, grabbed a bottle of water and tried to catch my breath, I ran into my friend Ali, who I met when she came into FLEET FEET one day a couple years ago,\u00a0all the way from Quincy.\u00a0 Ali and I bonded instantly, since we not only have the Quincy connection, we were both going through a divorce at the same time and we both lost our dad\u2019s way too early in life.\u00a0 Ali introduced me to her running partner, who is also her\u00a0new husband, and then she said something about how much she appreciated my last blog post about Friday the 13th<\/sup>.\u00a0 I said, \u201cThanks.\u00a0 Oh, and, this is Shane.\u00a0 Wes should be through the finish any minute.\u201d\u00a0 The timing of her statement was pretty funny since she got to meet one of the stars of my last post.<\/p>\n

Mark, who had been done for a while joined us.\u00a0 And a minute or so later, Kristen crossed the finish.\u00a0 And a few minutes later Wes and John completed our group.\u00a0 We hung out, took pictures, teased Wes for being sweaty enough that no one wanted to be near him, and got our free drinks and BBQ sandwiches.\u00a0 Eventually, the group started to peel off for naps and showers and such.<\/p>\n

\"The<\/a>

The After…with Karen and John added to the group.<\/p><\/div>\n

I hopped into my Pathfinder, thinking I had a pretty good idea of how to get back to Phebe\u2019s.\u00a0 I was hoping the kids hadn\u2019t given her too much trouble while I had been gone all morning.\u00a0 I started on my way, but somewhere I made a wrong turn.\u00a0 I finally realized I was way off course.\u00a0 And I was trying to figure out how to get back.<\/p>\n

I was cruising along, not speeding, but driving a back road with a speed limit of about 45 miles.\u00a0 I was trying to figure out where I was going.\u00a0 I was messing with the radio.\u00a0 I wasn\u2019t paying close enough attention.\u00a0 And then I looked up to see a car stopping in front of me.\u00a0 I stepped on the breaks as hard as I could, but I braced because I knew what was coming.\u00a0 I was breaking too late.\u00a0 And then it happened.\u00a0 I crashed into the back of the black Mitsubishi in front of me.<\/p>\n

I took a deep breath.\u00a0 Made sure I wasn\u2019t hurt. Put the car in park. Took a quick look around at my mess of a car. Turned off the engine. \u00a0Unbuckled my seatbelt. \u00a0And opened the door.\u00a0 Everything was in slow motion.<\/p>\n

As I stepped out onto the pavement, I could see the other driver unbuckling her seatbelt.\u00a0 I looked over and saw a few witnesses walking toward us. \u00a0Even though I couldn\u2019t hear their voices, I could tell they were asking if we were ok.\u00a0 I nodded. The other driver got out of her car, visibly shaken.\u00a0 I felt absolutely horrendous. \u00a0\u00a0She was a teenager, and was clearly very scared.\u00a0 I knew her fear, I felt it too.\u00a0 I asked if she was ok.\u00a0 She nodded.\u00a0 I said, \u201cAre you sure?\u201d\u00a0 She nodded and said, \u201cI think so\u201d.\u00a0 I suggested that we move the cars off the main road since they both seemed drivable.\u00a0 We turned right onto the side street and got out of the cars again.\u00a0 I asked her if she wanted to call the police or if she wanted me to.\u00a0 She said she wanted to call her mom, so I called 911. Then I called Phebe, so she would know why I was taking so long to get back.\u00a0 I was glad to know my kids were in good hands. \u00a0Then I called Wes.\u00a0 It went right to voicemail.\u00a0 I knew he was probably sleeping.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure the voicemail he got from me later made little to no sense at all.\u00a0 I remember thinking I was rambling (not surprising, I\u2019m kind of known for that).\u00a0 Then I called Shane.\u00a0 I was so glad he answered.\u00a0 I was in complete shock, but could feel my tears burning my eyes and I could hear my voice shaking when I told him what was happening.\u00a0 He asked if I wanted him to come to where I was.\u00a0 \u201cYeah, I need moral support\u201d.\u00a0 I felt my throat tighten when I heard him say to Mark, \u201cI\u2019ll be back, I\u2019m going to help Lindsey.\u201d<\/p>\n

I started looking for my Driver\u2019s License and insurance info.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t have my current card, so I called Allstate as I unpinned my bib that I still hadn\u2019t removed.\u00a0 The officer walked up and I handed him my phone to verify that I was up to date with my insurance. \u00a0Then he handed me a form to fill out.\u00a0 I located a pen and started to write.\u00a0 My hand was shaking.\u00a0 Shane walked up about 5 seconds later.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t look at him, because I knew if I did the tears would start.\u00a0 I held it together while the cop talked to me.\u00a0 And when he brought me and the other driver together to exchange info.\u00a0 He didn\u2019t give me a ticket.\u00a0 I still felt horrible.\u00a0 I knew I deserved one. I knew it was 100% my fault.\u00a0 That is the worst feeling in the world, knowing that something that was totally avoidable was your own fault.\u00a0 The cop suggested we take pictures of each other\u2019s vehicles just in case.\u00a0 Shane took pictures for me.<\/p>\n

The cop left.\u00a0 The girl and her mom left.\u00a0 I immediately collapsed into a sobbing mess in Shane\u2019s arms.\u00a0 The word\u2019s My fault, My fault, My fault,<\/i> kept playing in my head.\u00a0 It was undeniable. \u00a0Even though my prideful human nature has crept in and tried to rationalize things like, she stopped suddenly and for no reason at an intersection where we didn\u2019t have a stop sign and she may have had a break light out.\u00a0 The fact of the matter is I was distracted and I caused this accident.\u00a0 I will own the fact that I did this, even though it really, really, really sucks.\u00a0 It\u2019s not the first time I\u2019ve messed up.\u00a0 And it very likely won\u2019t be the last.<\/p>\n

Shane let me cry.\u00a0 He said all the right things.\u00a0 At least no one was hurt.\u00a0 At least my kids weren\u2019t with me.\u00a0 At least both cars are still drivable.\u00a0 At least the sun is shining.\u00a0 It could be so much worse.<\/p>\n

All true.<\/p>\n

But he still let me cry.<\/p>\n

I finally made my way back to Phebe\u2019s house.\u00a0 She said all the same things as she made me coffee and peeled oranges for the kids.\u00a0 I cried some more.\u00a0 Wes found my message when he woke up and called me back. \u00a0He said all the same things too.<\/p>\n

I was exhausted.\u00a0 Between the adrenaline of a race, the euphoria of finishing the race, a subsequent adrenaline spike from the accident and then the array of emotions that followed, I had been all over the place and my energy level was paying the price.<\/p>\n

I spent the rest of the weekend trying to recover from all of it.\u00a0 Periodically throughout the next 36 hours, I would randomly start crying. I slept hard Saturday night. I worked Sunday after church and spent Sunday evening on the couch. And then came my run yesterday morning.\u00a0 I was thinking about the events of the weekend.\u00a0 I was thinking about my friend Caleigh.\u00a0 Friday morning she was so excited to spend the weekend celebrating her 30th<\/sup> birthday but then she unexpectedly got some devastating news.\u00a0 How weird that we find ourselves struggling and celebrating at the same time.\u00a0 The bad doesn\u2019t see that we\u2019re busy enjoying the good and just decide to turn around and come back another time.\u00a0 Sometimes we have to deal with the good and the bad, all at the same time.<\/p>\n

I got 2.5 miles out yesterday and it was considerably hotter than I thought it would be.\u00a0 When I turned around I was instantly met with the relief of a cool breeze which simultaneously caused the resistance of the wind, which made things more challenging but also more comfortable.\u00a0 So, something that was making me work harder and causing me to struggle, was actually good for me at the same time.<\/p>\n

Sometimes bad things happen.\u00a0 Like bad news or car accidents.\u00a0 But just like Shane told me, \u201cIt\u2019s over, don\u2019t dwell on it.\u00a0 All you can do now is learn from it.\u201d\u00a0 So I will take the bad situation, and I\u2019ll own it.\u00a0 I will try to remember that when I get off course, instead of getting distracted, I\u2019ll stop, get my bearings and try to get back on the right track.\u00a0 Sometimes things happen that make us work harder, and even though they make us struggle, they ultimately make us better, stronger, refocused.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the other thing I was thinking about during that run.\u00a0 In a few weeks, I\u2019m going to take to the streets of Chicago to run the same marathon that I\u2019ve run 4 times already.\u00a0 Ever since Vancouver in May, I\u2019ve been so excited to get there and lay it on the line in an effort to earn the sub 4 hour time I know I deserve on that course.\u00a0 I missed it last year because I was injured, the year before that because it was obscenely hot, the time before that I was injured AND it was hot.\u00a0 I have been as close as 4 hours and 2 seconds.\u00a0 Yep, that\u2019s right, 3 seconds away from my goal time.\u00a0 A lot could happen in the next three weeks, but I\u2019ve decided to run the race I won\u2019t regret.<\/p>\n

My best friend in the entire world will be standing next to me at the start line in Chicago on October 13, to embark on her first attempt at 26.2.\u00a0 This is a girl who has stood by me through many years of \u201cMy fault, my fault, my fault\u201d, and no matter what happened, never once did she ever consider leaving my side.\u00a0 I still remember the phone call on the day of Phebe\u2019s wedding, as my marriage crumbled, when Britta said to me, \u201cI\u2019m with you in this. I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d\u00a0 So the only race I know for sure that I won\u2019t regret in Chicago, is to stay with her, step for step, if she wants me to.\u00a0 Her race, is my race.\u00a0 Sometimes it takes bad things happening to point us in the right direction again. To refocus us on what matters.\u00a0 A sub 4 in Chicago?\u00a0 That can wait.\u00a0 When I toe the line next to B for the Bank of America 2013 Chicago Marathon, my words to her will be, \u201cI\u2019m with you in this.\u00a0 I\u2019m not going anywhere.\u201d<\/p>\n

No regrets.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I woke up yesterday morning I had every intention of going to boxing, but instead I went for a 5 mile run because honestly, I had a lot to process from the weekend. I ran the Roots N Blues half marathon on Saturday.\u00a0 Some races go well.\u00a0 Some races not so much.\u00a0 And there […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-randomthoughts","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-7K","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=480"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/480\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":490,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/480\/revisions\/490"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}