{"id":466,"date":"2013-09-04T04:06:35","date_gmt":"2013-09-04T04:06:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=466"},"modified":"2013-09-04T04:12:44","modified_gmt":"2013-09-04T04:12:44","slug":"unknown-territory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=466","title":{"rendered":"Unknown Territory"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes we have to march into uncharted territory.\u00a0 Regardless of whether we just happen into it, or it\u2019s a choice to go in there, we sometimes get lost when we navigate the unfamiliar. Then we have to backtrack to figure out where we went wrong.\u00a0 We encounter obstacles. \u00a0We learn to adjust to the path in front of us. It\u2019s all part of figuring out where we\u2019re going.\u00a0 And who we are.<\/p>\n

Yesterday was Labor Day.\u00a0 I had a whole day of no kids and no work, so what did I do?\u00a0 I had an offer to run the Chubb trail with Shane, Wes and Shalini, but they were going at 6am.\u00a0 6AM?!\u00a0 On a holiday?!\u00a0 Ha.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think so.\u00a0 So, while I was at the movies with Steve on Sunday night, we decided we would venture off to the Chubb Trail on our own at a more reasonable hour.\u00a0 Neither of us had ever run there so we decided to go exploring together.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the thing about me and Steve.\u00a0 We\u2019ve only known each other for about a year and a half, but we found each other at just the right time. About 2 \u00bd years ago, before I had ever laid eyes on Steve, I was on the brink of making one of the biggest decisions of my life to march into potentially treacherous and severely uncharted territory. \u00a0Steve was just a few miles away doing the same thing, but in a completely different way.\u00a0 Both of us had been living our lives the way we thought we were supposed to on the outside, but we had both finally come to the conclusion that it was time to be true to ourselves. We didn\u2019t just walk into unknown territory, we RAN.\u00a0 We both knew that people would react however they would react and there wasn\u2019t a whole lot we could do about it. Some people would agree with us, some wouldn\u2019t.\u00a0 Some would respect us, some wouldn\u2019t. Some would accept us as we are, some wouldn\u2019t. But we had to set that aside and live the life we each knew would be best, regardless of anyone else\u2019s opinion. \u00a0Fortunately, we both have the full support of our families. I ultimately made the decision to file for divorce and leave behind the life I had come to know, the life of the outwardly appearing \u201cFairy tale\u201d, because in reality, I wasn\u2019t as happy as the princesses you read about.\u00a0 Steve, on the other hand, decided it was time to declare to the world, or at the very least his family, initially anyway, that he wasn\u2019t interested in finding Cinderella.\u00a0 I\u2019ve alluded to it before, by referring to Steve as the Will to my Grace, but the fact is one of my best friends is gay.\u00a0 (This is where Steve and I look at each other and say, \u201cNot that there\u2019s anything wrong with that\u201d and laugh hysterically)<\/p>\n

Yesterday morning I got a text from Steve at about 7:30 to say he was on his way to pick me up and before I dragged myself from the comfort of my bed to get ready, I perused the facebook status updates of my friends.\u00a0 There was one that stuck in my mind.\u00a0 One of my brother\u2019s best friends, Brandon, posted this:\u00a0 A lot of my best friends married outside of their race.\u00a0 I love that our parents taught us that it\u2019s ok to love everyone, and anyone.\u00a0 Gay, black, white, whatever.\u00a0 Love the one you\u2019re with!!\u00a0 Then Brandon went on to tag my brother and a bunch of other guys I have always thought of as my \u201clittle brothers\u201d who I\u2019ve known since they were about 7.<\/p>\n

Now, obviously I\u2019m not going to marry Steve (even though we joke about it often).\u00a0 And not just because he constantly reminds me that I\u2019m gross.\u00a0 But that\u2019s all beside the point.\u00a0 I\u2019m glad his parents taught him to love without judgment, because Lord knows how much I needed to be accepted when Steve stumbled into my social run that Spring evening.<\/p>\n

The point is about being accepting of our differences.\u00a0 Going through a divorce taught me more about grace than anything I have ever experienced in my life.\u00a0 The people I appreciated most as I went through the process were the ones who accepted me and loved me through it, without judging me or interjecting their own opinions about what they thought was best for my life.\u00a0 In reality, I lost some friends. \u00a0I had to endure hateful and hurtful words from some people. I felt judged and occasionally I felt like the person I am wasn\u2019t enough.\u00a0 It was hard and scary and sad. \u00a0The truth is, no one ever really knows what\u2019s going on inside someone else. \u00a0But I had some really great people come along while I was lost in that uncharted territory.\u00a0 People like Steve.<\/p>\n

We all have our own struggles, our own opinions, our own weirdness, our own issues, our own baggage\u2026should I continue? \u00a0I think you get the idea. \u00a0We all have to march into the uncharted territory that is called Life.\u00a0 And for better or worse, Life doesn\u2019t come with a manual, or a map.<\/p>\n

As Steve and I began our quest into Chubb yesterday, we were both dragging a little.\u00a0 He pulled a map out of the box by the trail sign and I exclaimed loudly, \u201cWe are not taking a map.\u00a0 That\u2019s ridiculous.\u201d\u00a0 One of the nearby hikers mentioned that it was a pretty easy trail.\u00a0 We quickly realized she meant easy to follow, not easy to run.\u00a0 It was steep, rocky, rooted, technical and challenging.\u00a0 And despite the theory that it was \u201ceasy to follow\u201d, we still managed to hit a dead end and found ourselves lost about a mile in.\u00a0 So we backtracked. We hit another dead end.\u00a0 Backtracked again and finally found the path we were supposed to be on.\u00a0 I joked about the two us getting off the beaten path\u2026shocking, right?<\/p>\n

We got a few miles in and came to point where we could go a couple different directions, but Steve\u2019s back was hurting, we were getting low on water and we were at a good point to turn around.\u00a0 So we headed back.\u00a0 We ran into some friends out for a hike with their new puppy.\u00a0 We saw lots of families.\u00a0 One little boy stared at me with a wide eyed grin as we passed.\u00a0 I\u2019m hoping he was thinking that he wanted to grow up and run trails like that.\u00a0 We both rolled an ankle at least once and I hollered out loud when a rock jabbed the side of my foot right where I have developed a nasty blister.\u00a0 We got to another point where we thought we had taken a wrong turn, backtracked only to figure out that we were in fact on the right track so we continued our course.\u00a0 The run back was considerably faster than the run out and we ended at just about 5 miles for the day.<\/p>\n

When we finished our run, we hung out in the pavilion for a bit before we headed back to my house to spend the day at the pool.\u00a0 While we sat there, I tried desperately to remember what I had done last year for Labor Day.\u00a0 I was racking my brain but unable to remember.<\/p>\n

Eventually, we hopped back in Steve\u2019s car, stopped for some SoBe\u2019s and made our way to the Lake Chesterfield pool for one last day in the sun.\u00a0 Nick stopped by to swim with us for a while.\u00a0 And later the three of us ended up back at my house grilling and drinking on the porch.\u00a0 (Side note: The last time the 3 of us were together, JUST<\/b> the three of us, was the infamous night of Nick\u2019s birthday when Steve shared his brilliant idea of signing up for the Vancouver marathon for his own birthday, and I said, \u201cGreat, I\u2019ll go with you!\u201d)<\/p>\n

Anyway, after dinner, Nick eventually decided to run home and Steve and I watched a few old episodes of Arrested Development.\u00a0 We\u2019ve already decided we\u2019re going as Tobias and Lindsay for Halloween this year.\u00a0 Hilarious?\u00a0 Yes, I think so.\u00a0 Around 9 something, Steve left for home.\u00a0 About 30 seconds after he left, I burst into tears as I finally remembered Labor Day last year.\u00a0 Not all of it, but I remembered spending about an hour curled up in Katrina\u2019s arms sobbing uncontrollably.<\/p>\n

You see, my kids started school today.\u00a0 The day after Labor Day.\u00a0 Just like they did last year.\u00a0 And the year before that.\u00a0 And so on.\u00a0 Last year, it occurred to me on Labor Day morning, that it was the first time that I wasn\u2019t going to be the one to pack the lunches on the first day of school.\u00a0 Or help the kids pick out their clothes.\u00a0 Or help Ally with her hair.\u00a0 Or tuck them in on Monday night and say a special prayer for each of their teachers.<\/p>\n

Today, just like last year, I met my kids up at the school to take a picture and walk them to their classrooms.\u00a0 This will likely be our new tradition and thus our new \u201cnormal\u201d, which still just feels weird to me.\u00a0 After I got back to my car, I proceeded to have myself a good long cry.\u00a0 Partly because Silas, my baby, started Kindergarten.\u00a0 Partly because life doesn\u2019t look the way I thought it would. \u00a0I have given up the fairy tale. \u00a0And partly because I am completely hormonal.\u00a0 Whatever.\u00a0 The fact remains that I am continuing to enter the unknown territory of this thing called Divorce.\u00a0 I am still learning what it means to be a single parent and what that looks like.\u00a0 Two of the boys\u2019 previous teachers found me having my \u201cmoment\u201d and I can\u2019t even tell you how much I appreciated their hugs.\u00a0 At least I know that my kids are in great hands.<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t imagine what yesterday would have been like if I hadn\u2019t spent the day with Steve.\u00a0 Being with him, exploring, laughing, just chilling, took my mind off of the anxiety that could have overwhelmed me all day and instead we just had a really great day.\u00a0 And that made me think about something, life will always hold the challenges of unknown territory, but as we learn to navigate the obstacles, and dead ends, backtracking and resetting, and everything in between, it\u2019s so much better to have someone with us when we do.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m still encountering new territory, new challenges, on pretty much a daily basis.\u00a0 But I\u2019m so thankful for the people who remind me that I don\u2019t have to do it by myself.\u00a0 I\u2019m not the only one trying to figure things out.\u00a0 And I don\u2019t have to figure it out alone.<\/p>\n

So, yeah, I don\u2019t get to do all the things that some moms do.\u00a0 I only make about half the lunches. I only do half the drop offs and pick ups.\u00a0 But I\u2019m still a full time mom, because I don\u2019t ever stop loving my babies.\u00a0 And I hope if there is one thing that they learn from me, just like Brandon said, it\u2019s that it\u2019s ok to love everyone, and anyone.\u00a0 I hope they look at me, and see that I choose love, because I am loved in return.\u00a0 And for that, there is no map needed.<\/p>\n

\"Steve<\/a>

Steve and I on our Labor Day Chubb Expedition<\/p><\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes we have to march into uncharted territory.\u00a0 Regardless of whether we just happen into it, or it\u2019s a choice to go in there, we sometimes get lost when we navigate the unfamiliar. Then we have to backtrack to figure out where we went wrong.\u00a0 We encounter obstacles. \u00a0We learn to adjust to the path […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-randomthoughts","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-7w","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=466"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/466\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":469,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/466\/revisions\/469"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}