As we finished up the group run, I asked in my always too loud Lindsey voice, \u201cWho wants to run this last .7 with me to round out my 19?!\u201d \u00a0Not surprisingly, I didn\u2019t have any takers.\u00a0 They said, just run up the road to the bar, we\u2019ll meet you there.\u00a0 Which is exactly what I did.\u00a0 And then I proceeded to throw down with a cheeseburger and fries like nobody\u2019s business.\u00a0 And a couple of Courtney\u2019s hot wings.\u00a0 Boy, some pancakes sure sound good right now\u2026<\/p>\n
Like I\u2019ve already mentioned, it was a weird day.\u00a0 There\u2019s a season for everything right?\u00a0 Sometimes we need to do things on our own and sometimes we need others to help pull us through.\u00a0 I thought it was interesting that I finished those 19 miles alone, just as I had started.\u00a0 But, that wasn\u2019t the part about today that was ultimately so weird.\u00a0 2 years ago today, I felt more alone than I ever have in my entire life.\u00a0 I was at the absolute rockiest part of the bottom. \u00a0Things couldn\u2019t get any worse. \u00a0I knew my marriage was over.\u00a0 And the possibility loomed that my life was too.\u00a0 I was telling a friend today about some of the stuff I was dealing with then, and in response to the question, \u201cHow do you even begin to let go of all that pain?\u201d this is how I answered: You spend 29 days under a blanket wanting life to just go away, that\u2019s rock bottom.\u00a0 And then, you come to the realization that your entire life you\u2019ve been a survivor.\u00a0 You\u2019ve survived everything that\u2019s been thrown your way.\u00a0 So you slowly start to pick up the pieces and go forward.\u00a0 Its slow steps at first, but eventually you find yourself running toward freedom.\u00a0 And when you finally get there, it\u2019s amazing.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s kind of how I feel at the end of every run.\u00a0 No matter how tired I am, or how slow I\u2019m dragging myself along, at least the last few steps, something stirs and I am able to muster the strength to run like I haven\u2019t just put 19 miles behind me. \u00a0Because I am a survivor. \u00a0I feel like I am a running to that feeling of freedom and I\u2019ve made it.\u00a0 It is amazing.\u00a0 Especially when you get to the end and you get to celebrate with the awesome people who kept you company along the way.\u00a0 A couple years, or even a couple miles, can make all the difference in the world.<\/p>\n
For some reason, after all that, I\u2019ve got a hankering for some pancakes.\u00a0 Geesh, you\u2019d think I just ran 19 miles, or something.<\/p>\n
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