{"id":228,"date":"2013-03-27T03:05:03","date_gmt":"2013-03-27T03:05:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=228"},"modified":"2013-03-27T03:10:15","modified_gmt":"2013-03-27T03:10:15","slug":"i-dont-want-to-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/?p=228","title":{"rendered":"I Don’t Want To Be"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today, after I left swimming, I hopped into the car and heard the Gavin Degraw song \u201cI Don\u2019t Want To Be\u201d on the radio.\u00a0 Which is, by the way, an awesome song.<\/p>\n

“I don\u2019t want to\u00a0be anything other than what I\u2019ve been trying to be lately<\/p>\n

All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind<\/p>\n

I\u2019m tired of looking round rooms wondering what I\u2019ve gotta do or who I\u2019m supposed to be<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to\u00a0be anything other than me”<\/p>\n

That song made me think about a conversation I had last night when I met a friend for a drink after work.\u00a0 Chris and I were talking about the fact that after going through a divorce, you are kind of left stripped of the need to impress people all the time.\u00a0 Divorce teaches you first hand that you will never be able to please everyone all the time so you might as well surrender the need to try.\u00a0 You learn how to be more true to yourself than you\u2019ve ever been.\u00a0\u00a0 You\u2019re kind of left with this mentality of \u201cThis is who I am.\u00a0 You can take it or leave it, but I\u2019m done trying to be something I\u2019m not.\u201d<\/p>\n

It was especially funny to be listening to that song today right after leaving the pool because at swimming I had a startling revelation.\u00a0 After sitting at the Nissan dealership for considerably longer than I was supposed to this morning for a new set of tires for the Pathfinder, I was going to be late to swimming.\u00a0 Rather than an hour and a half, I would have barely an hour of pool time.\u00a0 I started questioning if it was worth it to hurry and get there or if I should scrap it, go home and do yoga.\u00a0 I decided that since I hadn\u2019t been in the pool for almost 2 weeks, I needed to get in the water.\u00a0 Weirdly, I had actually missed it and I needed to do some long, slow laps.\u00a0 I\u2019m now determined to become the Forrest Gump of swimming.\u00a0 So, today as I was challenging myself to go 1000 meters without stopping, I came to the conclusion that I have maybe, just maybe, started to like swimming.\u00a0 GAH!\u00a0 How in the world did that happen?!\u00a0 I am officially a triathlete.\u00a0 I am no longer an imposter.\u00a0 I went the distance, a full 1000 meters in the pool.\u00a0 Actually, it may have been 1050 meters, because I thought at one point I\u2019d lost count and I didn\u2019t want to cut myself short.\u00a0 I swam the extra 2 lengths just in case.\u00a0 But the point is, I did it and I really felt like a swimmer.\u00a0 And\u2026wait for it\u2026I liked it.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the cool part.\u00a0 At my core, I\u2019m still the same old Lindsey.\u00a0 But my identity is ever changing.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always kind of considered myself to be a \u201cjack of all trades, master of none\u201d, so why shouldn\u2019t I be a triathlete? \u00a0I don\u2019t have to be great at all of it, but since I enjoy all of it, why not?\u00a0 Don\u2019t get me wrong, my first love still is and always will be 26.2, but, as much as I\u2019ve resisted it, I have this new part of me now too.\u00a0 The part that is a swimmer.\u00a0 The part that is a triathlete.\u00a0 I am multi-faceted.\u00a0 And not just in regards to sports.<\/p>\n

Swimming has taught me so much about myself.\u00a0 It\u2019s teaching me about conquering fears and about continuing to improve myself, both as an athlete and as a person.\u00a0 I made the initial attempt at triathlons, just to take on a new challenge and look where that brought me.\u00a0 Just like in life, it\u2019s important to continue evolving.\u00a0 Whether you\u2019re married, divorced, single, gay, straight, a parent, whatever, we all change over time. \u00a0The key is to know who you are and be true to that.\u00a0 As Gavin sings, \u201cPart of knowing where I\u2019m going is knowing where I\u2019m coming from.\u201d \u00a0I know where I was when I wasn\u2019t being true to myself and I don\u2019t want to go back to that.\u00a0 But now, I know who I am, I\u2019m happy with me and I\u2019m happy with where I\u2019m headed.<\/p>\n

\"RRG<\/a>

RRG playing the part of the Triathlete<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Today, after I left swimming, I hopped into the car and heard the Gavin Degraw song \u201cI Don\u2019t Want To Be\u201d on the radio.\u00a0 Which is, by the way, an awesome song. “I don\u2019t want to\u00a0be anything other than what I\u2019ve been trying to be lately All I have to do is think of me […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"aside","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-228","post","type-post","status-publish","format-aside","hentry","category-conquering-fears","category-onthedword","post_format-post-format-aside"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4eO4v-3G","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=228"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":232,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/228\/revisions\/232"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=228"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=228"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ramblingrunnergirl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=228"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}